Today, we will take a closer look a the world of teenagers and correct some of their fallacies.
Every few years, newspapers and magazines run a series of articles on teenagers in the hopes of educating parents and warning them about whatever new thing teenagers have cleverly/stupidly gotten themselves into this time. When I was a child, I revealed to a girl at daycare that I hated babies. She responded, “well, you were a baby, did you hate yourself back then?” to which I replied, “I was too stupid to hate myself back then.” As a teenager, I was smart enough to hate myself and my peers, and today as an adult, I can hate everyone. But, as I have gotten wiser with age, I have realised that I’ve had it wrong all along. Lameness it not age-specific; but people specific. Sure, certain stages of life might make one more obnoxious such as childhood and adolescence, but one doesn’t discover that until one has witnessed obnoxiousness expressed at multiple stages of life. Once lame, pretty much always lame. Our personality does change during the teen years, but it still remains relatively stable, it just becomes more polished.
Straight-talk with teens
Seriously, fuck yourselves teenagers. If you cannot, then masturbate. It’ll soothe your existential anxiety and make you less annoying.
During one’s teen years, many think that adults are sell-outs for working at that lame job, having all those responsibilities, not wanting to party, … . This is a like the archetypal teenage thought and I cannot blame people for having it, I have thought the same thing. The thing is, yes, some people get slower when they get older, but lame people are usually lame throughout all their lives and chances are that you’re lamer than you think you are. Unless you have more responsibilities, most teens have plenty of after-school hours to devote to their interests… and some people have cool interests and some people are lame. Look, if you like something passionately that is lame and superficial, you are that. If you like Twilight or Bieber, you’re like many others and who are these “many others”? Well, they’re sheeple. You’re a teen sheeple and a future adult sheeple. However, maybe the ones who think that people are sheeple, aren’t the ones who are the most mainstream in the first place so naturally, they would refer to the majority as sheeple. That could be true too. One can never be 100% sure and I am just writing an article here not conducting research, so this is just my untested theory so it’s worth what it’s worth.