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I’m Afraid of American Progressives

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Ah, America: a land of contrasts; a land which leaves no one indifferent.

americaneagle

Wow! What an image! I feel oddly possessed by patriotism… “1776 WILL COMMENCE AGAIN!” Whoa whoa! I don’t know what got into me there.

I’ve met my fair share of Americans back in my day and my experiences with them have been overwhelmingly positive. They tend to be polite and upbeat. Like most of us, I am an avid consumer of American culture and am especially fond of their comedy and reality TV series. I do not believe that Americans are any trashier than any other nation, simply that they have less qualms about monetizing it through guilty pleasures such as The Jerry Springer Show, The Maury Show (I have actually danced with Maury) and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I even have a fondness for WWE wrestling and I love the idea of burly men (and women) acting out ridiculous scenarios and then mock-fighting.

rusevhulk

Rusev is actually Bulgarian, but was wrestling on behalf of Russia, but then all of a sudden, his character came out of the closet as a Bulgarian, but I never quite understood how that transition occurred story-wise. If you know, please enlighten me in the comments.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I want to say something about a particular brand of Americans: progressives. You literally “trigger” me.

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Hipsters, Hippies, Homesteading Quiverfull and Ethnonationalist Neo-Pagans: Same same, but different

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Subcultures come and go. They are influenced by the ones that preceeded them as well as being a reflection of the current Zeitgeist in society. I have noticed a few current subcultures, despite being on opposite ends of the, in my opinion, useless and out-dated left-right political spectrum are actually quite similar. These are hipsters, hippies, quiverfull and ethnonationalists neo-Pagan types. Before proceeding with a more in depth analysis, here is a chart that provides an overview of their commonalities. By the way, if there is simply an X in the box, this means “yes”, but that I didn’t see a need to add extra details.

Hipsters Hippies Homesteading quiverfull Ethnonationalist neo-Pagans
Organic food X X X X
Veganism or vegetarianism X X They have no qualms about eating animals, especially since in the Bible animals are seen as put on Earth to serve man (if I remember correctly what I learnt in Sunday school). It depends. My gut feeling tells me they probably eat meat, but in a respectful manner and maybe like free-range animals.
Living out on the land, usually homesteaders. Yes and no, most life in urban areas and probably have an idyllic view of the countryside. X X X
Skeptical towards science (ex. Anti-vaccination) Yes, especially if it makes them seem morally superior. Hipsters aren’t “mainstream” anymore, but I believe many former hipsters probably adhere to gender theory. Yes, they are very skeptical of anything unnatural and that disrupts the natural order. This in itself isn’t necessarily unscientific – scientists also care about the environment, but can get into weird territory like spurning western medicine. Yes, especially if science goes against something mentioned in the Bible. They may seek medical help, but believe the pill to cause abortions or that scientists do not respect what is sacred. Yes, but in my understanding, they are mostly critical of science in the sense that they equate it with technology i.e. if it weren’t for science, we wouldn’t be fracking and destroying the environment.
Belief that there is a true authentic state of being as humans i.e. noble savage Yes; they long for a more authentic time, usually a return to a past where men did physical labour jobs and things were not mass-produced. Yes, these people are big fans of Rousseau’s concept of the noble savage and believe that society has corrupted us. Yes, for them, human’s natural state of being comes from Biblical times. Yes, but for them, they believe that humanity would be healthiest if people followed Pagan beliefs.
Into having a lot of babies It depends. I have heard of hipster families having a lot of kids and some having just one and hoping it’ll be LGBT because that would be so cool. Yes, if I am to trust Facebook, many headband-wearing hippy moms have countless photos of them breastfeeding their bountiful brood. Hell yeah! Even skipping out on sex during ovulation is seen as unnatural. It depends, but I believe they are mostly favourable to the idea.

Regardless of the subculture, all these buy into this idea that there is a natural way that humans should be living which is reflected in their diet and also their living conditions. There seems therefore to be this idea that modern life has lead us astray from what is good for humans and that we need to look to the past to find this more natural authentic way of being which can be summed up with the idea of the noble savage, i.e. humans who have not yet been corrupted by civilisation. To be fair, I think they are onto something here. In the West, we have high rates of complex disorders such as depression, anxiety and psychosomatic disorders and these are thought to be associated to our stressful lifestyle, disruption of our sleep and circadian rhythms, lack of physical activity, bad diet (not only due to the high fat content, but also diets that do not support gut flora which has been found to affect mental and physical health in surprising ways).

Now, it could easily be argued that suffering is a part of life, but most of us in the West have nothing to complain about by ancestral standards as we live in times of abundance. So, which conclusions have these subcultures come to? Is this “normal” suffering, or have we lost our way? What is the authentic way to live?

eden1

Source: Adam and Eve cast out of Paradise – after eating from the Tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden. From Old Testament stories, published by Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, London c.1880. (Photo by Culture Club/Getty Images)

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Listen To Your Heart… Or Don’t

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A life-changing entheogenic experience in conjunction with a class on the relationship between cognition and emotion has led to an amazing realisation: emotions are meant to guide us. As a teenager, I considered robots to be superior due to their lack of emotions and still maintain little respect for those for whom feelz take precedence over realz. I was in good company too, since many of the great thinkers thought that emotions corrupt reason and how it’s best to make decisions while one is in a neutral state. Emotions also predate cognition in the sense that the brain structures that support emotions evolved before those for analytical thinking. Animals also have emotions, but they can’t think as well as we can, so this also contributes to the bad reputation that emotions can sometimes have. We humans like to think of ourselves as being above all this animalistic stuff, but we aren’t robots yet and if you ask me, ALWAYS be suspicious of anyone or any ideology that expects you to repress your animal side.

monkey-business

That being said, I want to stress that emotions are not outdated relics/behavioural fossils that simply we have to put up with. My goal with this article is to enlighten you with when and how emotions can help and hinder decision-making.
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Your Sexuality Is Gross

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With every lick of the ice cream, a new layer of his slobber coated the cream. He handed the cone back to his girlfriend, a woman who had lovingly gargled his life nectar minutes before. She pushed it back, “Eww! You got your saliva all over it!” 

Is this a familiar scenario? Since the dawn of man and even before, there have been sexual mores dictating who could mate with whom. But since, the dawn of I do not know what, sex has also been portrayed as dirty and gross. Personally, I don’t blame religious people for this one. I think it is in our nature to find it gross. This makes sense too since exchanging bodily fluids is the #1 doctor recommended way of getting sick. Why then are we temporarily able to suspend this disgust to engage in sexual congress with a partner? Do we even suspend disgust at all when having sex? I don’t know. I haven’t done extended research on the matter, but when I do I will get back to you. Let’s just explore some ideas first:

  1. Sex is necessary for the survival of the species. If your ancestors didn’t get laid, you would not be here. The chain of life has not been broken since life appeared on the face of the Earth.
  2. Sex feels amazing.
  3. It helps us pair-bond (or with multiple people).

When you have sex with someone, you have to acknowledge a person’s animal nature, or rather their humanity, because humans are animals. Be weary of any ideology that denies biology! Things that formerly disgusted us, all of a sudden arouse us immensely – sometimes, the grosser the sex, the more fluids involved (and for some, even solids) and the more fluids there are, the better the sex!

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Defecation and Prostate Stimulation: A Hypothesis

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Brenda-Lee shares her controversial hypothesis as to why men seem to derive more pleasure than women from defecating.

We’ve all experienced this scene: a man walks out of the bathroom with a satisfied look on his face, he brags to his audience about the size of the stool he recently expelled. Maybe it clogged the toilet, maybe he had to force real hard or maybe the stool made him wait for it. The stereotype is that men love to talk about their shits and there even is a South Park episode that focuses on this very issue.

Men, women and children all experience pleasure when urinating and having bowel movements. It makes sense that such a vital function would be pleasurable. You might have been too shy to admit it, but there probably have been times where you have emptied yourself and been overcome with a feeling of joy, as though a burden has been lifted from your shoulders. This joy might even last long after the feces has been expelled.

800px-sushi_platter

Sushi isn’t rich in fiber.

So, everyone likes to shit, but it could be argued that men are more comfortable openly expressing their delight because it isn’t seen as ladylike to admit to defecating, let alone that a she enjoy it. While I think that this is a fair point to make and I do not have any definite answer to this question, let us look at this differently. Perhaps the reason men talk more about their bowel movements to begin with, is because they enjoy it so much. If you really like eating sushi, chances are that you will go on and on about how great sushi is. Sure, it’s possible to be keen on eating sushi without annoyingly discussing it at every opportunity, but we can all agree that someone who has only lukewarm feelings towards sushi would probably not talk about it as much. Strong feelings elicit strong opinions and strong opinions usually aren’t held silently.

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Born To Live In A Totalitarian Regime

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It seems as though lately it is fashionable to discuss “triggering” and people want trigger warnings everywhere. The thing is, you never know what will trigger a person, so it is a pointless and censoring endeavor — a fine example of how the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And with these fine intentions in mind, a thought occurred to me: why change the environment so as to lessen their anxiety when you can simply put them in an environment in which their anxiety is most appropriate.

In my case, my greatest fear is getting into trouble, therefore, I think my brain is ideally suited for life in a totalitarian regime.

You’re lawless now

 

anarchy

As you can imagine, I am not an anarchist.

Imagine a world where jay-walkers were fair game for oncoming traffic, where committing one crime or one mistake lead to the dissolution of your Hobbesian social contract with the state, thereby rendering you a “free citizen”, neither subject to the law nor protected by it — a prime target for psychopathic murderers and bounty hunters. As I am typing this, I wonder why this would be a concern of mine as if you automatically lose your rights, wouldn’t you then also lose the authority of the laws to govern you? Anyway… I never claimed anxiety was always rational.

Honor system

According to the deterrence theory of crime, it isn’t so much the severity of the punishment which dissuades people from committing crimes, but rather the probability of getting caught.

take a penny

Pfff! Like I would ever leave a penny.

I hate public transportation or anything where the honor system is used. I’m not a bad person, but I am a cheapskate and firmly believe in the saying, “don’t tempt an honest man”. If I am given even the slightest opportunity to get away with not paying, I do not see that as stealing, but rather as saving. If I pay for a ticket and that ticket was never controlled, I feel like I have been ripped off for being honest. However, if I don’t pay for the ticket, I end up feeling stressed during the entire ride, on the edge of my seat, waiting for any signs of a uniformed ticket control officer so that I can pounce out of the bus as quickly as possible. If that particular municipal transport system has tickets controllers that dress in civilian  clothing, then I become even more stressed out as now I must scan for anybody who looks suspiciously confident and authoritative when walking into the bus or metro.

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Who would you rather have sex with: Trump, Jim Bob Duggar or an ape?

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Imagining hypothetical scenarios is a sign of greater intelligence and allows us to prepare for future, albeit sometimes unlikely, events. While this might seem like a foolish parlor game to some, I never shy away from an opportunity to exercise my thinking muscles and neither should you.

When the challenge was originally presented to me, my choices were Trump, Jim Bob Duggar and Brock Lesnar, a WWE and UFC fighter who I find seriously scary looking. However, most people don’t know Brock Lesnar, so he has been replaced by an ape (though some would say Brock Lesnar looks like a more ape-like ancestor of modern man).

After consulting my friends, we all have different views on who we would choose. Here is a list of our thoughts:

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You are what you look like

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The mind and the body are not separate entities. Think about it, religious people speak about the “temptation of the flesh”, but what is the origin of your arousal? You get aroused because sensory information is processed and interpreted by your brain which leads to physiological arousal. So boners do not corrupt the mind, your mind corrupted your penis/vagina. Not only does your mind have an effect on your body, but your body does on your mind as well which affects what kind of person you become.

Some of the points I am going to make are based on my own personal experience inhabiting my body, but I will base myself on observations I have made about other people as well as their own first hand reports. This is basically the most useless statement ever though since almost everything we say is based on our experience and personal interpretation of the world, but its just a disclaimer in case people are wondering whether what I write can account for the entirety of human existence. Answer: Probably not.

Short People

A tall friend of mine has a theory that children who grew up quickly, in terms of height, are expected to act as adults earlier on. I come from a place where people on average are shorter, but I currently live in a place where people on average are much taller. My friend’s experience could potentially only be applicable to tall people who grow up in a primarily short environment. Maybe people in my new tall-dominant environment grow up faster mentally, but that could also be due to cultural factors. I haven’t had a chance to untangle all the confounding variables, however I have asked a few tall people their thoughts on the matter and they have all agreed. I am a short person and have also discussed this with short friends and they think there might be something to this theory. One issue that I struggle with as I have been getting along with the years, is presenting myself as an adult and claiming respect. I have a difficult time embracing my sexiness, I would rather be seen as cute, but this might soon be age-inappropriate according to TV fashion stylists. I also feel like tall people are older and more mature than I am and can at times be intimidated by them, almost reduced to feeling like a child: “be respectful and don’t waste their time, you are dealing with a grown-up here.” In fact, there have been times when tall people were conversing, when I felt completely excluded from the conversation because I was not at their level. And, just to make things clear here, I am not freakishly short. In fact, I am in the average globally for women.

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Empowering Women’s Repugnance

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Brenda-Lee’s plaidoyer to take the politics out of women’s grossness.

Look at this picture:

best_guy_ever

What do you see? Do you see a brave man challenging unattainable male beauty standards? Do you see a “real man” assuming that real men do not look like those in magazines or on TV? Do you see a man who views his stretch marks, wrinkles and increasingly invasive body hair as badges of honor acquired over time, proof of his wisdom, his experience, his living life to its fullest without giving a damn about the media and society’s bullshit norms?!

Or do you just see a gross hairy fat man being unapologetically disgusting? 

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