Brenda-Lee shares her controversial hypothesis as to why men seem to derive more pleasure than women from defecating.

We’ve all experienced this scene: a man walks out of the bathroom with a satisfied look on his face, he brags to his audience about the size of the stool he recently expelled. Maybe it clogged the toilet, maybe he had to force real hard or maybe the stool made him wait for it. The stereotype is that men love to talk about their shits and there even is a South Park episode that focuses on this very issue.

Men, women and children all experience pleasure when urinating and having bowel movements. It makes sense that such a vital function would be pleasurable. You might have been too shy to admit it, but there probably have been times where you have emptied yourself and been overcome with a feeling of joy, as though a burden has been lifted from your shoulders. This joy might even last long after the feces has been expelled.

So, everyone likes to shit, but it could be argued that men are more comfortable openly expressing their delight because it isn’t seen as ladylike to admit to defecating, let alone that a she enjoy it. While I think that this is a fair point to make and I do not have any definite answer to this question, let us look at this differently. Perhaps the reason men talk more about their bowel movements to begin with, is because they enjoy it so much. If you really like eating sushi, chances are that you will go on and on about how great sushi is. Sure, it’s possible to be keen on eating sushi without annoyingly discussing it at every opportunity, but we can all agree that someone who has only lukewarm feelings towards sushi would probably not talk about it as much. Strong feelings elicit strong opinions and strong opinions usually aren’t held silently.

Full disclosure: I have tried anal sex from the receiving end. I don’t plan on making this blog about my sex life, but I say this to add legitimacy to my claims; though, I am more of a Frontdoor Francine than a Backdoor Betty like most women I assume.  Anal sex does feel like a sequence alternating between defecation and reverse-defecation. Certain feces are about as big as or bigger than a penis. Gay men are known to engage in anal sex. Why? Because it stimulates their prostate, an organ only men have. While many women enjoy anal sex, I still think men in general get more out of receiving anal sex or anal pleasures than women do.

By now you should know where I am heading. Men eat more, therefore, men are more likely to make bigger poops; poops the size of penises. Just like a penis in your anus can stimulate your prostate so can a penis-sized poop (and even small ones) stimulate your prostate on its way out. Therefore, this might explain why men boast about their poops more and seem to derive more satisfaction from emptying their bowels.

In writing this article, I realised that I am not the only one to have thought of this. Others have asked the internet before me. In addition to this, I have discussed this theory with both gay and straight friends. The gay friends were reluctant to validate my claims. I think it is because these particular men were not fond of comparing their love-making to shitting. Some straight friends think I am onto something whereas others, jealously protective of their anal virginities, wish not consider the fact that they had a penis-sized object within their heterosexual male bodies.

So what do you think? Am I onto something? Discuss this with your friends and come back to me with revisions to the theory if you have any.

Scatologically yours,