Tag Archives: sexuality

Your Sexuality Is Gross

With every lick of the ice cream, a new layer of his slobber coated the cream. He handed the cone back to his girlfriend, a woman who had lovingly gargled his life nectar minutes before. She pushed it back, “Eww! You got your saliva all over it!” 

Is this a familiar scenario? Since the dawn of man and even before, there have been sexual mores dictating who could mate with whom. But since, the dawn of I do not know what, sex has also been portrayed as dirty and gross. Personally, I don’t blame religious people for this one. I think it is in our nature to find it gross. This makes sense too since exchanging bodily fluids is the #1 doctor recommended way of getting sick. Why then are we temporarily able to suspend this disgust to engage in sexual congress with a partner? Do we even suspend disgust at all when having sex? I don’t know. I haven’t done extended research on the matter, but when I do I will get back to you. Let’s just explore some ideas first:

  1. Sex is necessary for the survival of the species. If your ancestors didn’t get laid, you would not be here. The chain of life has not been broken since life appeared on the face of the Earth.
  2. Sex feels amazing.
  3. It helps us pair-bond (or with multiple people).

When you have sex with someone, you have to acknowledge a person’s animal nature, or rather their humanity, because humans are animals. Be weary of any ideology that denies biology! Things that formerly disgusted us, all of a sudden arouse us immensely – sometimes, the grosser the sex, the more fluids involved (and for some, even solids) and the more fluids there are, the better the sex!

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Defecation and Prostate Stimulation: A Hypothesis

Brenda-Lee shares her controversial hypothesis as to why men seem to derive more pleasure than women from defecating.

We’ve all experienced this scene: a man walks out of the bathroom with a satisfied look on his face, he brags to his audience about the size of the stool he recently expelled. Maybe it clogged the toilet, maybe he had to force real hard or maybe the stool made him wait for it. The stereotype is that men love to talk about their shits and there even is a South Park episode that focuses on this very issue.

Men, women and children all experience pleasure when urinating and having bowel movements. It makes sense that such a vital function would be pleasurable. You might have been too shy to admit it, but there probably have been times where you have emptied yourself and been overcome with a feeling of joy, as though a burden has been lifted from your shoulders. This joy might even last long after the feces has been expelled.


Sushi isn’t rich in fiber.

So, everyone likes to shit, but it could be argued that men are more comfortable openly expressing their delight because it isn’t seen as ladylike to admit to defecating, let alone that a she enjoy it. While I think that this is a fair point to make and I do not have any definite answer to this question, let us look at this differently. Perhaps the reason men talk more about their bowel movements to begin with, is because they enjoy it so much. If you really like eating sushi, chances are that you will go on and on about how great sushi is. Sure, it’s possible to be keen on eating sushi without annoyingly discussing it at every opportunity, but we can all agree that someone who has only lukewarm feelings towards sushi would probably not talk about it as much. Strong feelings elicit strong opinions and strong opinions usually aren’t held silently.

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Who would you rather have sex with: Trump, Jim Bob Duggar or an ape?

Imagining hypothetical scenarios is a sign of greater intelligence and allows us to prepare for future, albeit sometimes unlikely, events. While this might seem like a foolish parlor game to some, I never shy away from an opportunity to exercise my thinking muscles and neither should you.

When the challenge was originally presented to me, my choices were Trump, Jim Bob Duggar and Brock Lesnar, a WWE and UFC fighter who I find seriously scary looking. However, most people don’t know Brock Lesnar, so he has been replaced by an ape (though some would say Brock Lesnar looks like a more ape-like ancestor of modern man).

After consulting my friends, we all have different views on who we would choose. Here is a list of our thoughts:

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Everything I Know (Off The Top of My Head) About Paraphilia: An educational rambling.

Ever wonder what makes a pervert a pervert? Did they choose to be that way and why in Heaven’s name would they stick their erection into… that? If you’re like me, these questions make up a large part of your thoughts. Years of pondering has lead me to many discoveries on the subject which I will gladly share with you. Get a drink and a snack, this is going to be long.

First things first, what’s paraphilia? It sounds like pedophilia. Pedophilia is in fact a type of paraphilia. Basically, paraphilia refers to sexual deviancy, i.e. not socially accepted behaviour or preference but that doesn’t make it necessarily immoral or unnatural in itself.The difference between paraphilia and a kink is mainly if it causes you (or the society in which you live) distress.  Paraphilia is one of my passions though I myself am not a paraphile. A lot of behaviours that are now acceptable sexual practices or orientations were once considered to be paraphilia. A big example of that is homosexuality, but you could also fit in BDSM, anal sex, even oral sex even and much much more!!! In fact, one of the first cataloguers of sexual deviancies, Richard Krafft-Ebing, who travelled through Germany and the Austro-Hungarian Empire meeting paraphiles and recording their behaviours, believed that basically, as long as it led to reproduction, it wasn’t deviant. This meant that women were very rarely considered deviant. So even if a chick liked it when her partner restrained her and defected on her, if it ended in a creampie, it was okay. Krafft-Ebing also believed that perversions came hand-in-hand with how ‘evolved’ a person was; this was based on race and so by his logic. Black people were less perverted than whites. Although today we realise that being of a particular race doesn’t make you more or less evolved, I think we still stereotype certain paraphiles according to certain groups of people. If one were to think of the stereotype of a pedophile, they would probably think of a creepy middle-aged white man, whereas if one is thinking about a panty-sniffer and proponent of frotteurism (rubbing yourself against an unsuspecting person), then they would maybe think about a Japanese person and then if one was thinking more along the lines of BDSM and coprophilia (arousal to feces), then probably one would think of a German person.

No offence!

I’ll be peppering these posts with memes otherwise no one will read this never-ending article.

For a long time I was under the impression that only serial killers or creepy people were paraphiles. As I read more true crime and watched more serial killer interviews, I realised that although some of these people were horrible psychopaths who were unworthy of forgiveness, many of them had horrible childhoods and didn’t seem any happier after committing these crimes either. That’s when epiphany struck: although these people committed terrible crimes, and they should have controlled themselves and been more empathetic; they didn’t choose to be monsters. No one actively decides, “hey, screw this heteronormative (or even homosexual-normative) world, I’m going to have sex with corpses/children/animals/etc.” Everyone who has a sex drive knows how powerful it is, it is a very difficult thing to repress. We’ve all heard about poor people from strict religious families who experience extreme amounts of shame and guilt for feeling ‘normal’ sexual attractions. Now think of someone who has a taboo sexual orientation, can you imagine how difficult it is to repress it. And yet many do. You probably noticed how I used the word ‘sexual orientation’. I will discuss the reasons why I did this in the section on pedophilia. I won’t be covering all paraphilias. It would be never-ending and unnecessary and I would be robbing you of the pleasure of making your own discoveries. The way I see it, if you can think of something weird (not necessarily sexual), the chances are that someone out there is already doing that novel thing you just thought about.

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