Author Archives: ascabtopick

About ascabtopick

Obsessed with sex, Bible thumpers and gross things.

I’m Afraid of American Progressives

Ah, America: a land of contrasts; a land which leaves no one indifferent.

americaneagle

Wow! What an image! I feel oddly possessed by patriotism… “1776 WILL COMMENCE AGAIN!” Whoa whoa! I don’t know what got into me there.

I’ve met my fair share of Americans back in my day and my experiences with them have been overwhelmingly positive. They tend to be polite and upbeat. Like most of us, I am an avid consumer of American culture and am especially fond of their comedy and reality TV series. I do not believe that Americans are any trashier than any other nation, simply that they have less qualms about monetizing it through guilty pleasures such as The Jerry Springer Show, The Maury Show (I have actually danced with Maury) and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I even have a fondness for WWE wrestling and I love the idea of burly men (and women) acting out ridiculous scenarios and then mock-fighting.

rusevhulk

Rusev is actually Bulgarian, but was wrestling on behalf of Russia, but then all of a sudden, his character came out of the closet as a Bulgarian, but I never quite understood how that transition occurred story-wise. If you know, please enlighten me in the comments.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I want to say something about a particular brand of Americans: progressives. You literally “trigger” me.

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Hipsters, Hippies, Homesteading Quiverfull and Ethnonationalist Neo-Pagans: Same same, but different

Subcultures come and go. They are influenced by the ones that preceeded them as well as being a reflection of the current Zeitgeist in society. I have noticed a few current subcultures, despite being on opposite ends of the, in my opinion, useless and out-dated left-right political spectrum are actually quite similar. These are hipsters, hippies, quiverfull and ethnonationalists neo-Pagan types. Before proceeding with a more in depth analysis, here is a chart that provides an overview of their commonalities. By the way, if there is simply an X in the box, this means “yes”, but that I didn’t see a need to add extra details.

Hipsters Hippies Homesteading quiverfull Ethnonationalist neo-Pagans
Organic food X X X X
Veganism or vegetarianism X X They have no qualms about eating animals, especially since in the Bible animals are seen as put on Earth to serve man (if I remember correctly what I learnt in Sunday school). It depends. My gut feeling tells me they probably eat meat, but in a respectful manner and maybe like free-range animals.
Living out on the land, usually homesteaders. Yes and no, most life in urban areas and probably have an idyllic view of the countryside. X X X
Skeptical towards science (ex. Anti-vaccination) Yes, especially if it makes them seem morally superior. Hipsters aren’t “mainstream” anymore, but I believe many former hipsters probably adhere to gender theory. Yes, they are very skeptical of anything unnatural and that disrupts the natural order. This in itself isn’t necessarily unscientific – scientists also care about the environment, but can get into weird territory like spurning western medicine. Yes, especially if science goes against something mentioned in the Bible. They may seek medical help, but believe the pill to cause abortions or that scientists do not respect what is sacred. Yes, but in my understanding, they are mostly critical of science in the sense that they equate it with technology i.e. if it weren’t for science, we wouldn’t be fracking and destroying the environment.
Belief that there is a true authentic state of being as humans i.e. noble savage Yes; they long for a more authentic time, usually a return to a past where men did physical labour jobs and things were not mass-produced. Yes, these people are big fans of Rousseau’s concept of the noble savage and believe that society has corrupted us. Yes, for them, human’s natural state of being comes from Biblical times. Yes, but for them, they believe that humanity would be healthiest if people followed Pagan beliefs.
Into having a lot of babies It depends. I have heard of hipster families having a lot of kids and some having just one and hoping it’ll be LGBT because that would be so cool. Yes, if I am to trust Facebook, many headband-wearing hippy moms have countless photos of them breastfeeding their bountiful brood. Hell yeah! Even skipping out on sex during ovulation is seen as unnatural. It depends, but I believe they are mostly favourable to the idea.

Regardless of the subculture, all these buy into this idea that there is a natural way that humans should be living which is reflected in their diet and also their living conditions. There seems therefore to be this idea that modern life has lead us astray from what is good for humans and that we need to look to the past to find this more natural authentic way of being which can be summed up with the idea of the noble savage, i.e. humans who have not yet been corrupted by civilisation. To be fair, I think they are onto something here. In the West, we have high rates of complex disorders such as depression, anxiety and psychosomatic disorders and these are thought to be associated to our stressful lifestyle, disruption of our sleep and circadian rhythms, lack of physical activity, bad diet (not only due to the high fat content, but also diets that do not support gut flora which has been found to affect mental and physical health in surprising ways).

Now, it could easily be argued that suffering is a part of life, but most of us in the West have nothing to complain about by ancestral standards as we live in times of abundance. So, which conclusions have these subcultures come to? Is this “normal” suffering, or have we lost our way? What is the authentic way to live?

eden1

Source: Adam and Eve cast out of Paradise – after eating from the Tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden. From Old Testament stories, published by Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, London c.1880. (Photo by Culture Club/Getty Images)

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Listen To Your Heart… Or Don’t

A life-changing entheogenic experience in conjunction with a class on the relationship between cognition and emotion has led to an amazing realisation: emotions are meant to guide us. As a teenager, I considered robots to be superior due to their lack of emotions and still maintain little respect for those for whom feelz take precedence over realz. I was in good company too, since many of the great thinkers thought that emotions corrupt reason and how it’s best to make decisions while one is in a neutral state. Emotions also predate cognition in the sense that the brain structures that support emotions evolved before those for analytical thinking. Animals also have emotions, but they can’t think as well as we can, so this also contributes to the bad reputation that emotions can sometimes have. We humans like to think of ourselves as being above all this animalistic stuff, but we aren’t robots yet and if you ask me, ALWAYS be suspicious of anyone or any ideology that expects you to repress your animal side.

monkey-business

That being said, I want to stress that emotions are not outdated relics/behavioural fossils that simply we have to put up with. My goal with this article is to enlighten you with when and how emotions can help and hinder decision-making.
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Your Sexuality Is Gross

With every lick of the ice cream, a new layer of his slobber coated the cream. He handed the cone back to his girlfriend, a woman who had lovingly gargled his life nectar minutes before. She pushed it back, “Eww! You got your saliva all over it!” 

Is this a familiar scenario? Since the dawn of man and even before, there have been sexual mores dictating who could mate with whom. But since, the dawn of I do not know what, sex has also been portrayed as dirty and gross. Personally, I don’t blame religious people for this one. I think it is in our nature to find it gross. This makes sense too since exchanging bodily fluids is the #1 doctor recommended way of getting sick. Why then are we temporarily able to suspend this disgust to engage in sexual congress with a partner? Do we even suspend disgust at all when having sex? I don’t know. I haven’t done extended research on the matter, but when I do I will get back to you. Let’s just explore some ideas first:

  1. Sex is necessary for the survival of the species. If your ancestors didn’t get laid, you would not be here. The chain of life has not been broken since life appeared on the face of the Earth.
  2. Sex feels amazing.
  3. It helps us pair-bond (or with multiple people).

When you have sex with someone, you have to acknowledge a person’s animal nature, or rather their humanity, because humans are animals. Be weary of any ideology that denies biology! Things that formerly disgusted us, all of a sudden arouse us immensely – sometimes, the grosser the sex, the more fluids involved (and for some, even solids) and the more fluids there are, the better the sex!

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Defecation and Prostate Stimulation: A Hypothesis

Brenda-Lee shares her controversial hypothesis as to why men seem to derive more pleasure than women from defecating.

We’ve all experienced this scene: a man walks out of the bathroom with a satisfied look on his face, he brags to his audience about the size of the stool he recently expelled. Maybe it clogged the toilet, maybe he had to force real hard or maybe the stool made him wait for it. The stereotype is that men love to talk about their shits and there even is a South Park episode that focuses on this very issue.

Men, women and children all experience pleasure when urinating and having bowel movements. It makes sense that such a vital function would be pleasurable. You might have been too shy to admit it, but there probably have been times where you have emptied yourself and been overcome with a feeling of joy, as though a burden has been lifted from your shoulders. This joy might even last long after the feces has been expelled.

800px-sushi_platter

Sushi isn’t rich in fiber.

So, everyone likes to shit, but it could be argued that men are more comfortable openly expressing their delight because it isn’t seen as ladylike to admit to defecating, let alone that a she enjoy it. While I think that this is a fair point to make and I do not have any definite answer to this question, let us look at this differently. Perhaps the reason men talk more about their bowel movements to begin with, is because they enjoy it so much. If you really like eating sushi, chances are that you will go on and on about how great sushi is. Sure, it’s possible to be keen on eating sushi without annoyingly discussing it at every opportunity, but we can all agree that someone who has only lukewarm feelings towards sushi would probably not talk about it as much. Strong feelings elicit strong opinions and strong opinions usually aren’t held silently.

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